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Cheese Might Pay Your Bills

“Ninety-eight…ninety-nine…one-hundred! That’s $100 in Swiss cheese slices, which should cover the cost of this bill.”

That’s not an embarrassing story of mine—it’s the potential reality for residents of Scarborough, North Yorkshire. In a letter requesting payment for parking permits, the Scarborough Council mistakenly told residents that instead of writing a check, they could enclose a cheese.

Scarborough letter. Photo Credit: Ross Parry for Metro UK

Scarborough letter. Photo Credit: Ross Parry for Metro UK

The memo told residents to indicate a form of payment, with option number one being, “I enclose a cheese made payable to Scarborough Borough Council or Debit/Credit card payment.”

Numi Solomons, a resident of the area, posted a picture of the letter on social media, where it gathered hundreds of comments from hopeful cheese heads.

Although the Scarborough Council probably just made a typo, it is tempting to imagine what it would be like to live in a world where cheese could be currency. If you want to be prepared for the day when cheese rivals the dollar, check out this price breakdown and start building your new bank.

Cabot Extra Sharp Cheddar — $10


Cabot cheese is an accessible classic. An extra sharp cheddar brings this table staple to the next level, with a slightly more crumbly texture and heightened acidity. The flavor is tangy and goes well with nuts, a juicy apply, or a cider. A versatile cheese like this is sure to be worth something.

Drunken Goat — $20


This semi-soft goat’s cheese comes from Spain, and that foreign flare is what notches up its value. The cheese gets its boozy flavor and purple tint after being soaked in Doble Pasta wine for 2–3 days before aging. After reaching maturation, the cheese has sweet and fruity flavors. I can’t imagine this would be too hard to barter with.

Berkswell — $50


This cheese is made on a 16th-century farm in the United Kingdom, so of course that prestigious upbringing boosts its worth. Berkswell is matured for at least six months and has a rusty-red coloring. The flavors are sweet, with hints of caramel and pineapple overlapping.

Hook’s 15-year-old Cheddar — $100


Hook’s aged cheddar could easily be used as a downpayment for a new car—that’s how good this cheese is. The cheddar is rich and crumbly, with lactate crystals scattered throughout from the duration of aging. It has a powerful, dreamy cheddar taste unlike anything else.

Donkey Pule Cheese — $1,000


This cheese is extremely rare and hard to get your hands on. It is only produced at the Zasavica Special Nature Reserve in Serbia from Balkan donkeys. It is crumbly and soft, with a flavor similar to Spanish manchego, but more complex. This is the same donkey milk that Cleopatra is rumored to have bathed in for restorative purposes. One pound of this will probably pay for almost anything.

Feature Photo Credit: “dollar sign…” by DVARG | Shutterstock

Jacqueline Roman

Jacqueline Roman is an Emerson student in Boston who never misses an opportunity to make a cheese pun and utilizes her social media accounts to post pictures of her pride and joy: cheeseboards. She has other interests but does not brie-lieve they are as gouda.

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