I’ve got to be honest with you—I am obsessed with Pokémon GO. If, for whatever reason, you haven’t heard about this game, it’s a role-playing adventure game that syncs with Google Maps to place Pokemon, Pokéstops, and Gyms across real places in real time. Using the app as a guide, users can walk to different Pokéstops to collect power-ups and Pokéballs, chase down Pokémon, and battle other users’ Pokemon in Gyms. It’s amazing, especially as someone that commutes in and out of Boston every day.
One of the most difficult tasks I’ve come across since starting this game is explaining to non-Pokémon GOers the difference in all the different Pokémon you can collect. Why would you target specific types of Pokémon if you’ve “gotta catch em all?” If you already caught one of those, why are you trying to catch another? Why is that one so strange looking?
So I decided to break down a few different types of Pokémon using, of course, cheese comparisons. Why wouldn’t I take advantage of an opportunity to combine two of my favorite subjects? Keep in mind, though, that every Pokémon listed below can range in CP, or combat points. CP is like the length of time a cheese has been aged. Each variety of Pokémon (cheese) can be a low CP (young cheese) or high CP (aged cheese). As you collect more of the same Pokémon, you can trade them in for candy to power them up and gain more CP. Over time, your Pokémon becomes more powerful and, therefore, more valuable, the same way cheese can become more valuable with age.
Pikachu – Mini Babybel
Pikachu is the one Pokémon that just about anyone could recognize. I see him as a sort of starter Pokémon. Growing up, Babybel cheese was the first cheese I ate that wasn’t sliced at a deli counter, meant to put on a turkey sandwich. It was my starter cheese. They’re both cute, recognizable, and intriguing, but you know there are bigger and better options out there.
Ponyta – The Rattlesnake
This “mild” cheddar is anything but when infused with tequila and habanero peppers. Deer Creek Cheese’s The Rattlesnake is deceptive, the same way Poynta deceives her enemies. Her elegant appearance may appear tame, but she breathes fire (and you will too with a bite off these curds!).
Eevee – Brie
Eevee is a unique Pokémon in that she can evolve into three different forms: Vaporeon (water), Jolteon (electric), and Flareon (fire). Similarly, Brie has many different forms. There’s blue brie, traditional cow’s milk brie, goat’s milk brie-style, young brie, old brie, and more. Plus, baby Eevee is just too adorable, just like those mini wheels of Brie.
Jynx – Chechil
Jynx is a purple-skinned humanoid with hauntingly large eyes and platinum blonde hair. She’s pretty creepy looking and could definitely pass as the villain of an episode of “Scooby Doo,” though she’s a really powerful addition your Pokedex, all while she rocks a ruby red ballgown. Chechil is also pretty creepy looking, if you ask me, between its bright orange color and dangling tentacle-things. But it’s actually a smooth smoky cheese that peels apart into thin strings, like adult string cheese! Who would have guessed?
Gloom – Stichelton
Stichelton is a notoriously stinky blue, known for its distinctly pungent smell, creamy paste, and fruity taste. Gloom is also known for his smell. In fact, that’s his primary defense mechanism when battling other Pokémon. The difference between Gloom and Stichelton, though, is that while Gloom always stinks, his stench gets worse when he’s under attack.
Dugtrio – Barely Buzzed
Cheddar is a pretty non-intimidating cheese, even for dairy novices like myself. But this cheddar from Beehive Cheese Co. is infused with coffee for a deceptively simple kick of smoky deliciousness intertwined with the sour notes of the cheddar that’s sure to be an effective pick-me-up. In a similar vein, Dugtrio look pretty harmless. They’re just three little humps in the ground that fertilize the soil to grow crops, right? Wrong. When the three of them work together in a battle to unleash their high-energy Sand Veil or Arena Trap, you’re surely done for.