When you think of the shape of a cheese, you often think of perfect squares, or circles, depending on the first type of cheese that pops into your head. And you usually think of a pale yellow, or maybe even a white. But there are cheeses that look nothing like the “typical” cheeses we all think of. Here are twenty cheeses that we believe to be the craziest looking.
These remind me of the Shortbread cookies I used to feast on during Girl Scout Cookie season. Plus, they’re so teeny at just 1 ounce apiece. I’d happily swap a cookie for one of these.
The Caciocavallo cheeses are all roughly the same in shape: They all look like obese snowmen wearing pointy hats, or upside-down spinning tops.
This, also in the feature photo above, looks like a pear with a flat bottom, or a pear that “let itself go”. And the idea of a pear letting itself go is hilarious. I still crack a smile thinking about it.
When I saw this, I immediately thought “that is the cheese embodiment of a hippie.” Long, grassy hair that doesn’t look like it’s been taken care of in a while? It just screams hippie. Pair it with Cypress Grove’s PsycheDillic and you’re ready for a ’60s themed cheese party.
This is pretty similar to the last one, but the topping is a bit more extravagant. To me, this looks like confetti, making the cheese look straight out of a New Orleans’ Mardi Gras parade. Essentially, this cheese screams “I’m having more fun than you,” which makes me envy it a bit, but admire it even more.
Continuing in the “cheese that looks like other foods” reasoning, this one looks like a powdered doughnut. The rind also is a bit powdered looking, which only adds to the doughnut analogy (and allows us to compare it to some of the more delicious donuts out there). And who doesn’t love doughnut-shaped foods?
These look like perfect little squares taking a swim in some olive oil. They seem like the perfect snack to serve at a fancy party while everyone’s relaxing in a hot tub or something, because they would match what the guests were doing. They’re so pristine, though: still holding their shape despite being swimming in the olive oil.
This one is representing all the braided cheeses out there, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hold its own. The braided cheeses as a whole are beautiful to look at, reminding many of the braids they either wore as a child or saw someone else wear. But this one looks like a perfectly tied rope you’d see on a picturesque sailboat in old movies.
It is alarming how much this cheese looks like Jabba the Hut. That is all I will say on the matter.
Look at the center of this cheese. It looks like both a stained-glass window and an old brick building, both of which are phrases I never thought I’d use to describe cheese. This is just crazy looking, and that makes it fantastic.
On the whole, this just looks like pie. It’s topped in cranberries, but the dark, wine-washed rind allows it to even more resemble a piecrust. It definitely doesn’t taste like pie, but I would certainly confuse it for one at a party.
This looks like something out of a child’s nightmare. It looks like a monster was on a rampage, and dragged its giant claws right through the center of this cheese. It’s both terrifying, and mesmerizing to look at. Someone call up the director of the Where the Wild Things Are movie, because they clearly missed an important detail.
Come on. They’re perfectly heart-shaped. Is any further justification needed?
Seriously, what is this? It’s braided, but also stringy at the bottom. It’s also bright orange. Why is it such a bright shade of orange? This cheese is definitely the most mysterious-looking of the bunch, and in some ways looks like a combination of some of the previously-listed cheeses. But a combination of the craziest factors of all these cheeses, hence why it takes a spot so close to the top.
1. The Colored Rind Cheeses (Pondhopper, Somerset, Mona, and Menage)
If our cheese library were a box of Crayola crayons, these would be the Purple Mountains Majesties and the Razzmatazzes of the group. They may not be as oddly shaped as some of the others, but look at those rinds! They’re so bright! How does that even happen? To choose one over the other would be impossible, because they’re all so bright, but to say any other cheese deserves the top spot would be a lie. I want to color a pretty picture with the rinds of these cheeses. They’re beautiful.