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#CheeseCrime: Grand Theft Asiago


Another day, another gigantic stolen truck full of cheese.

Maybe these rogues were trying to make a quesadilla the size of Wisconsin. Or maybe they were pulling a Robin Hood, planning to stealthily distribute the wealth to the cheeseless. Or maybe they were just trying to do their part to ease the burden of America’s cheese glut.

The only thing we know for certain is that somebody made off with a semitrailer in Milwaukee that was carting 20,000 pounds of cheese—a $46,000 value—and it’s still MIA. Police are perplexed, noting that the parking lot in which the driver left the truck unattended was gated and locked. An intruder would have to have known the keypad code to get in, so lot owner Kevin Mifflin speculates that the burglar must not be a stranger to the facility.

This is far from the first cheese heist in recent memory—in fact, it isn’t even the first recent cheese heist in Wisconsin alone. In January, a curd-snatcher made off with 41,000 pounds of Parmesan in Marshfield, and, not one week later, $70,000 worth of cheese disappeared from Germantown. The spoils of both capers were subsequently recovered, but apparently these unsuccessful precedents didn’t discourage this month’s marauder.

“The cheese pirates are back at it again,” said Vince Christian of Wisconsin Cheese Mart to TMJ4. “If [people] keep taking these trucks I’m sure they’re going somewhere, but I’ve never heard anything about where.”

We don’t know either—a Swiss bank account, maybe?

Feature image courtesy of Keith Bell via Shutterstock

Caroline Fenn

While Caroline Fenn’s primary pursuit is an M.A. in publishing from Emerson College, she thinks almost as frequently about whether burrata or Brie would be her desert island cheese. She comes to Boston via Connecticut and Rhode Island and also loves writing, coffee shops, and Fountains of Wayne.