For this week only, Nicholas Morgenstern will be celebrating Kanye West’s birthday with a series of ice cream sundaes, each a component of his fantasy ice-cream parlor. This includes such culinary masterworks as the “Kim Kardashian Thirst Trap Sundae” and the “I Am A God Ice Cream Croissantwich.” While any hip-hop superstar certainly dreams of a me-themed ice cream parlor, we know that what they really want is a specialty cheese plate. In celebration of culture’s equal appreciation of Mr. West, here is our contribution.
The “Imma Let You Finish” 20-Year-Cheddar
To start things off, it’s only fitting to give Kanye the finest cheese has to offer. Hook’s 20-Year Cheddar was only recently revealed for public consumption, and the price is an impressive $209 per pound. Hook’s isn’t alone in asking a bit more for an unembellished product…
The “#ALLDAY Break the Internet” Brie
For our second choice we chose something soft and succulent to get Kanye’s engine running. Kim Kardashian may not have ever actually broken the internet, but we believe that, one day, the right recipe of sizzling hot brie might do just that.
The “When you’re the absolute best, you’re hated on the most” Blue
According to a 2013 Survey by Save the Children, 34% percent of people asked named blue cheese as their most hated food. Kanye surely would be able to empathize with a cheese that weathers even this most devastating criticism. Our pick? Asher Blue from Georgia.
The “Voice of a Generation” Vegan Cheese
In an age of food allergies and specialized diets, it seems like any product can be made without, well, itself. Sure enough, vegan cheese is just the newest in a series of innovative foods for those with dietary restrictions. We are sure that, when we think back on this generation, we will remember our gluten intolerances and super-foods, but above all, we will remember Kanye.