Five cheese and movie pairings to send shivers down your spine (in the best way)
It’s fair to say that cheese haunts the dreams of many of us here, but can cheese actually haunt us? Like, for real? Ebenezer Scrooge, brainchild of Charles Dickens, blamed his initial ghostly encounter as a hallucination brought on by, among other things, “a crumb of cheese,” which potentially gave rise to a common superstition that cheese may cause nightmares. (Science says not so much.)
Cheese is always a vibe, but sometimes that vibe can be a little macabre. After all, John Updike lyrically wrote, “Cheese is milk’s leap toward immortality.” But isn’t immortality typically the ambition of wannabe vampires? To paraphrase, cheese could also be considered milk in “undead” form. (Read: zombie milk.)
The world of cheese is one of controlled decay, of harnessing microorganisms, of suspended animation. While mold is typically the result of something gone very wrong, cheese is the exception; mold is something that centuries of cheesemakers have cultivated for good. And beyond the cheese itself, cheese places and people also straddle the semantic line between darkness and light. In mythology (and in reality, as far as the creepy-crawlies are concerned), caves are eerie places typically occupied by bats, bears, and other creatures best avoided. Monger isn’t always an innocuous term, and can also mean someone who promotes something for sinister gain.
But this is also some of the fun of cheese. Extreme cheese lovers are nothing if not a little cult-like, and it follows that cheese fans have a built-in delight for the gory or grotesque. At this time of year, cheese is great for pairing seasonal food such as Halloween candy or pumpkin-flavored everything, but cheese can also team up with a seasonal mood. And when that mood is a little creepy and craving a bit of horror? Lean into it with these scary movie and cheese pairings.
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Mimolette + Infestation or Arachnophobia and Don Bugito Dark Chocolate Crickets
No stranger to spooky season cheese boards because of its perfect jack-o’-lantern hue, Mimolette also brings the spooky mood because of its… let’s call them “tenants.” Mimolette’s unique, craggy texture
is due to its intentional inoculation with cheese mites: microscopic insects that burrow through its hearty crust and help aerate the cheese. Snacking on Mimolette while watching critter flicks such as Infestation or Arachnophobia may make you second-guess each toothsome crunch— was that a tyrosine crystal or an exoskeleton? Fortunately, Mimolette’s craveable butterscotch tone can also make you shudder for all the right reasons. Don Bugito Dark Chocolate Crickets serve dual elements of this pairing: the candy-like flavor of Mimolette and the creepy crawlies within.
Keen’s Cheddar + The Mummy or The Awakening and Pacific Pickle Works Carriots of Fire
Consider that many cheddar cheeses, such as grassy, spicy Keen’s Cheddar, are “bandage-wrapped” or “clothbound” for matters of rind development and preservation. The same can be said when a body is bandage-wrapped, aka mummified. For dairy or human remains, the goals of cloth-binding are to preserve ageability and freshness. For the best effect, see if you can find a clothbound selection with the exterior bandage still intact—or employ some spare cheesecloth to achieve the look—while indulging in any number of similarly themed films, such as The Mummy or The Awakening. Honing in on another method of preservation to honor the mood, look to a complex, spicy pickle for accompaniment, such as Pacific Pickle Works Carriots of Fire.
Firefly Farms Mountain Top + Firestarter or Backdraft and Pretzel Rods
Ash-ripening has long been a feature of cheesemaking to neutralize acidity and protect the surface of the cheese from insects. (Mimolette got the memo but threw it in the fire.) Ash-ripened cheeses, such as FireFly Farms’ Mountain Top, are some of the most naturally macabre selections in the case because of their perennially goth exteriors, but they also remind us that you can’t have ash without fire. So if you’re feeling a bit of pyromania, use this tangy number as fuel for arson-inspired flicks such as Firestarter or Backdraft. You can also add logs to the flame (and texture to the proceedings) in the form of crunchy, salty pretzel rods.
Vermont Creamery Coupole + Hannibal or Get Out and Terrapin Ridge Farms Hot Pepper Raspberry Preserves
If you’ve ever used “brain-like” to describe the kind of bloomy rind topography that results from the presence of Geotrichum candidum, as with Vermont Creamery’s Coupole, then you’ll anticipate where
this is going. Pair bright and lemony Coupole with films where brains are unceremoniously manipulated. (Spoiler alert!) In Get Out they are swapped from one body to another—minus consent—and in Hannibal they are literally on the menu, with Hannibal Lector gingerly opening a man’s skull and feeding him bits of his own brain. For an extra brainy effect, brush your Coupole with the sanguine Terrapin Ridge Farms Hot Pepper Raspberry Preserves.
Chällerhocker + It or Child’s Play and Animal Crackers
Meaning “cellar dweller,” which, on its own, conjures a certain vibe, Chällerhocker’s label art was designed to portray a child peeking into the cheese cave. The image, however, leans a little more ominous than innocent, and was quickly co-opted by cheesemongers for fashioning seasonal masks, giving rise to a new form of October celebration: Chällerween. Perfect for pairing with films that similarly subvert innocent childhood characters, such as Pennywise from It or Chucky from Child’s Play, Chällerhocker’s intensely sweet and savory notes can also jump scare your tastebuds and may even increase your heart rate. As an accompaniment, animal crackers provide another inspired hit of nostalgia, but the whole experiment here may have you looking a little more closely at their faces.
Pamela Vachon
Pamela Vachon is a freelance food and beverage writer and educator based in Astoria, New York, whose work has appeared in Bon Appétit, Wine Enthusiast, and VinePair, among others. Formerly a bartender and captain at New York’s two Michelin star restaurant, The Modern (where her cheese education began as a driver of a tableside cheese trolley), she is also a certified sommelier, and leads cheese, wine, and cocktail tastings through Murray’s Cheese and Night Inn
