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WA City Bans Cheese, Maintains Seahawks Juju


Bainbridge Island Cheese Ban

The majestic Puget Sound may separate the community of Bainbridge Island from the bustling city of Seattle, but a thirty-minute ferry ride and the unshakeable bond of sports fandom are more than enough to tie them together. In solidarity with the Seattle Seahawks and determined to hinder the slightest showing of enthusiasm for the Green Bay Packers, Bainbridge Island City Manager Doug Schulze issued Executive Order 121212 (get it?) banning “the possession of and/or consumption of cheese or cheese flavored products” in City Hall this past Friday, January 16. Citing the popular phenomenon of Green Bay fans “wearing obnoxious wedge-shaped foam hats painted yellow,” Schulze initiated the one-day ban before the NFC Championship Game on Sunday.

As with most anything involving cheese and politics, reactions were mixed. Social media, naturally, generated some great vitriolic commentary: per the Bainbridge Review, Facebook user Rob Peterson posted to the city’s timeline, “Grow up! Youre elected officials. Not children. What youre doing is discrimination. I am deeply troubled by this immature act.”

PETA, in contrast, sent the office a basket full of vegan cheeses in the hopes of weaning city officials off of the real stuff. PETA Associate Director Ryan Huling explains that “PETA hopes that after trying these delicious vegan cheeses, you’ll decide to bench dairy for good” (emphasis most definitely his).

Probably the best reaction so far has to be the anonymous order for four pizzas delivered direct to City Hall. What do you do—throw them out? Eat them in secret? Instant conundrum!

Nevertheless, while Bainbridge Island has had its hands full with cheesy faux-controversy, the Seahawks managed to rally from a 16-0 deficit at halftime to an incredible 28-22 win in overtime. Who can say whether this made any serious impact on the game? But in the end, you do not want to mess with that juju.

Grant Bradley

Grant Bradley is culture's former web editor and never ceases to thank his nameless human ancestor who figured that leaving some milk around for a while and then eating it was probably a great idea. Raised on California’s Central Coast, educated in the Pacific Northwest, and transplanted to New England, Grant likes to write, edit, and code things.