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Orange is the New Black: It’s Almost Time

In just a few days, Orange is the New Black Season 3 will premiere, and though I am mostly ready for what is to come, I know these last few days are going to test my endurance and physical strength. Like the last .2 miles of a marathon (running, that is), I need to focus, focus, focus to get through to the finish line (a.k.a. Premiere Day).

And what better to focus on? (I’ll pretend you don’t know the answer to this question)—Cheese!

I already set aside my in-binge (think: “in-flight” but no airplane) #OITNB cheese plate, but, it occurs to me I should have something set aside for the long days, weeks, and months that follow this weekend, before Season 4 comes out. (And yes, it is totally reasonable to think about this already).

So—more characters, more cheese!

Sam Healy = Detroit Street Brick


Dense, slightly crumbly, and liberally studded with spice—becomes more flavorful and assertive with age.

Joe Caputo = Jarlsberg


Mild, nutty, smooth, slightly sweet with large round eyes. Melts easily and evenly. Versatile.

John Bennett = Fromage Blanc


Mild, smooth, a little tangy, and low fat. Pairs well with sweet, spicy gingersnaps.

Dayanara Diaz = Harbison


Bloomy rind with a protective bark&mdashlwithout the bark, the creamy, custard-like interior would flatten like a pancake.

Gloria Mendoza = Marco Polo Reserve


Pepper, pepper, pepper. Hint of heat and brightness—rich, nutty, textural complexity.

Janae Watson = Sofia Goat Cheese


Hand molded. Scary looking but sensitive exterior—initially light and lofty, will get fudgier and runnier beneath the surface

Cindy “Black Cindy” Hayes = Cambozola


Bold, sweet, nutty—can be subtle and sensitive, but mostly just a crowd-pleaser.

Carrie “Big Boo” Black = Coupole


Salted, dried, then aged—strong exterior, softer, fluffier interior.

Rosa Cisneros = Meadow Melody Grande


Made with love, aged underground—creamy, buttery, and earthy. Good match for delicate, slightly salty meats.

Sister Jane Ingalls = Beemster Gouda


Walks the line between youth and hard age. Semi-firm with notes of sweet nuts and bit of tang.

Erica “Yoga” Jones = Cypress Grove Bermuda Triangle


Acid ripened. Smooth, bright, and peppery in youth; softer, slightly translucent, and a little more assertive with age.

All photos of Orange is the New Black courtesy of Netflix

Amy Fukuizumi

Amy loves few things more than writing and cheese. As a testament to these loves, she drove across the country to join culture: the word on cheese. Her goal as Social Media Manager is to make the world (digitally) feel this love (and 'Like' it a lot).