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World’s Most Expensive Cheese Slicer Stolen!

While much of the mythology surrounding heists sticks to priceless portraits and Scandinavian masterpieces, culture has received word of perhaps—if we say so ourselves—the most infamous theft of 2015: On the night of Saturday, February 28, a guard patrolling the floors of the Amsterdam Cheese Museum discovered that the World’s Most Expensive Cheese Slicer (and yes that deserves capitalization) had been stolen.

The cheese slicer in question was crafted in a collaboration between Boska, Dutch cheeseware-maker extraordinaire, and Argentine jewelry designer Rodrigo Otazu in 2007. The slicer is encrusted with 220 distinct diamonds and sparkles with the light of a thousand suns. While the demand for a diamond cheese slicer might not seem immediately apparent, Martin Bos, Boska CEO, lays it out plain as day: “Our core business is to manufacture and sell cheesewares®, but we also engage in creative collaborations with the purpose of making cheese cool.” And this, we agree, is extremely cool. Can we get an action shot, please?

Boska Heist!

This is definitely the most baller piece of cheese equipment we have ever seen. If we ever found an extra $26k in our pocket that we totally forgot about, the obvious next step would be to purchase said slicer. But even prior to the theft this would’ve been a no-go—as Bos explains, “Over the course of time, many have shown interest in purchasing the shiny slicer. But the Cheese Museum at Prinsengracht wanted to display the slicer to the general public for all to admire, and we provided them with that opportunity.” Hear hear—cheese equipment for the people!

Which makes this crime even more dastardly. We can understand how the large signs proclaiming this to be, in fact, the World’s Mot Expensive Cheese Slicer would appear very appealing to the up-and-coming cat burglar, but c’mon—think of all of those innocent young children who would’ve pressed their eager faces against the security glass, now forever robbed of their cheesy inspiration! Who will make the diamond-studded cheese slicers of the future now, we ask?

Boska Heist!

Fortunately the suspects (more than one, so a team? can this be made into a movie please?) have been caught on security camera footage, and sketches have been made. (Interestingly, Boska and the Museum have chosen to report the theft to the police first thing Tuesday morning, which means that a good samaritan of the community must has stepped up to draw the approximation of the suspects’ physical characteristics. Oh how we wish we could see that sketch!) Tips regarding the identity of the thieves or the location of the cheese slicer are more than welcome; informants who lead to the return of this beloved dairy instrument will be rewarded with a Boska Cheese Gift Basket and the world’s largest commercially available fondue set, expertly named the Mr. Big Fondue.

Let’s pool our resources, world, and #findthatslicer!

Photos courtesy of Boska

Grant Bradley

Grant Bradley is culture's former web editor and never ceases to thank his nameless human ancestor who figured that leaving some milk around for a while and then eating it was probably a great idea. Raised on California’s Central Coast, educated in the Pacific Northwest, and transplanted to New England, Grant likes to write, edit, and code things.

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